Understanding the Gay Teen
These discussions normally centered on the averageheterosexual relationships without any reference to alternative sexualitiessuch as homosexual and bisexual orientations. However, it is imperative inmodern society to teach our children about alternative sexual orientations andtolerance of those differences.
Gayteens are one of the most disadvantaged and vulnerable groups in society,facing the pressure and dangers of gay bashing' and other forms of homophobicbullying. There is a threefold likelihood of lesbian or gay teens being bulliedthan other youth.
Thesepressures in turn lead to a higher incidence of social isolation, alcohol anddrug abuse, family problems, and low self esteem than their peers.
Thereis a relatively common belief that someone who is gay must have suffered somesexual trauma or has been influenced to make this decision by a gay adult. Thisis a myth as neither of these things influences sexuality. In the past, manyhave felt the need to hide their homosexuality and have lived their lifefeeling as though they are living a lie. However, in more recent times, teensare coming out' much more often and at a younger age.
Talkingto parents about their sexuality can sometimes be difficult, if not seeminglyimpossible. If they have heard anti-gay conversations between their parents orothers close to them, this may contribute to their fear. In some situations,these youth run away from home because they feel that they cannot deal with thereaction of their parents.
Thereare also many gay teens that are forced out of their homes by parents who areunable to deal with their teen's sexuality. Even for those who remain at home,the tension that occurs when the teen comes out' can push relationships betweenthe parents and the child beyond breaking point.
Thiscan lead to verbal or even physical violent eruptions between both parties,leading to severe relational breakdown. The trauma of this resistance to theteen's sexual identity can be emotionally devastating. This resistance may beparticularly high in parents who have been raised with the conviction thathomosexuality is always wrong.
Becominga teenager is already a big deal regardless of whether the person isheterosexual or homosexual but for the gay teen, the issues are far morefrightening. Often, the teen is already having a hard time coming to terms withthe fact that he or she is homosexual and is already fearful of peoples'intolerance of them. The ultimate rejection by their parents on the basis ofgender issues leaves the person feeling totally confused and isolated.
Theincidence of suicide among gay teens is around three times that of theirheterosexual counterparts though sexuality and gender issues are not inthemselves, seen as a risk factor for suicide. However, the feelings ofisolation and of being different can drive many to suicidal behavior.
Perhapsthe difference in acceptance of homosexuals could begin in what we teachchildren in earlier years. After all, bigotry is something that is learned froma young age. Make your children aware that any form of hatred anddiscrimination is unacceptable and instill these values as early as possible.
Whendiscussing sexuality with your children, explain that homosexuals have notchoice and that they need to be respected as people just as anyone else does.
Let'sdo what we can to stop contaminating the minds of our young and causing thediscrimination against other people, whether based on race, religion, or sexualorientation.
Gayteenagers need empathy from those around them and from their healthcareprovider. Otherwise, they may feel isolated and worthless, thus pressuring theminto taking risks with their sexual health. Having sex with someone of the samegender does not eliminate the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and gayteens need to be aware of this and comfortable enough to discuss these problemswith their doctor without fear of prejudice.
Becominga teenager is a huge milestone for both teenagers and parents and it isparticularly so when the teenager is gay. As parents, it is important toreassure the teenager that being gay really is okay and that, regardless oftheir sexual identity, you love them anyway.
Thoughthe gay community has gained some civil rights over the years, it is importantto continue the fight to erode the conservative views on gay issues. Only thencan the gay community have the same freedoms as their heterosexualcounterparts.
Submitted by Editor on Fri, 05/02/2008 - 9:04am.
